Divorce is considered to be one of the most severe stresses a person can experience. Overcoming it is equally difficult for both women and men. However, it is believed that men are less likely to just let go of this event and easily return to their bachelor’s life. And women often go through the grief of parting with tears in their eyes, in the company of sympathetic girlfriends and prolonged depression. Is it true?
5 stages of grief
First, you need to say that every man experiences all stages of grief in his own way. But here are the most common stages of grief in men.
Despite the fact that a man only dreamed of freedom, after being married, at first, he cannot believe that this really happened.
Anger which is directed towards his wife or girlfriend. Especially often, this feeling is observed among those who still have not found a mate and remain lonely. Internal anger accumulates inside and can explode in relationships with loved ones, colleagues at work, or unfamiliar people.
3. Awareness and doubt
It comes after some time when all the emotions of grief begin to subside. At this time, there is little to no contact with an ex; next comes the process of recognizing one’s errors, and there is a desire to return and fix everything. But this stage is short-term, therefore reunification does not occur.
4. Grasping reality
Here and now, a man is finally aware of the realities of his life. Sometimes men fall into a prolonged depression and literally, everything falls out of hand. In the event that a man has not yet acquired a new passion or does not have third-party hobbies, everything can end up very badly, and it may take a long time for him to recover. Quite often, he needs the support of a therapist.
A man finally accepts what happened. Healing occurs when a man accepts his past and begins a new life. The past grievances are forgotten, feelings and emotions have dulled down, and there is neither anger nor irritation – neither to an ex nor to the divorce itself. The sequence of stages is the same for everyone, but, moving from one to another, men sometimes commit nonsense and behave rather strangely.
Once a man has realized that it’s over, and you have nothing to worry about, you both will move on, he will probably find lots of beautiful girls online, and you can move with your own romantic relationships as well.
Types of inadequate behavior
1. Retribution and revenge
Resentment and the realization that everything is over makes a man do everything in spite and avenge the ruined life and feelings. He does so, of course, by causing pain to his now ex-wife, so that she feels the same pain that he is experiencing. After all, very often, each of the partners believes that their partner has already forgotten everything and lives a happy life; therefore, some feel like they have to interfere in this happy life. He can come to her place, take back all the gifts that he made for her, not respond to requests (during the divorce period, people often have some affairs), and pretend that he has a new passion so that you suffer, say nasty things and lies to your mutual acquaintances so that they would believe that you are to blame and stalk you on social networks.
2. Loss of interest in life
Of course, this is a difficult life situation, which leaves an indelible mark on the life of every person. Men that are more susceptible to stress can quit work, stop taking care of themselves, cry, not leave their home, and begin to replace real life with a virtual one.
3. The need for self-affirmation
The thought and realization that you are not bound by marriage bonds inspire and give a feeling of unlimited freedom. Just during this period, a man begins to change partners of his life, looking for consolation in them, and assert himself because his role in the marriage was wounded. As a rule, nothing comes of a relationship after a breakup; men seek only of the needs they can no longer satisfy. But the second side does not suspect anything about this and hopes for a long relationship.
4. The desire to intimidate
If children are involved in a divorce, some men may intimidate their partner by taking the child away from their mother and depriving her of maternal rights. This situation is not uncommon. In this situation, it is important to have a sober and cold mind, not give in to blackmail or threats. Ignore all threats, do not enter into dialogue and disputes without entering into conflict with a man that wants to intimidate you. Parting must be experienced with dignity.